


all of me, heart and soul

by troubadore



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, canon but not, soul bonds
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-16
Updated: 2020-01-16
Packaged: 2021-02-19 06:36:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22273351
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/troubadore/pseuds/troubadore
Summary: “I couldn’t let you die,” Ed says, quick like a stab. His brow furrows, eyes still on his own hand.Frustrationandgriefwell up inside him. “I—I couldn’t. I can’t—” He lets out a sharp breath.Defeat. Resignation.“I can’t be without you. I can’t.”He says it like it’s a fact of life: the sky is blue, equivalent exchange is the first law of alchemy, and Edward Elric cannot be without Roy Mustang.
Relationships: Edward Elric/Roy Mustang
Comments: 14
Kudos: 301





	all of me, heart and soul

**Author's Note:**

> this was inspired by a witcher fic i read just the other day that had soul bonds in it and i felt the strong urge to write some soul bond stuff for royed bc of it so here we are !!! 
> 
> i may flush this idea out more later in subsequent fics but i make no promises on that so just take what i have for now !!
> 
> (if any of y'all are into the witcher and geralt/jaskier specifically pls feel free to point out the direct reference i make to it in this fic lmao)

Roy becomes aware of voices around him, kept low but no less heated—an argument.

“—so stupid sometimes, brother. I can’t believe you.”

“He was _dying,_ Al. what was I supposed to do?”

“Literally anything but that! You _know_ what—”

“It was _my_ choice to make!”

The words don’t make sense with so little context. Roy thinks it may be related to the fact that he’s in a hospital bed, a monitor beeping steadfast beside him. Ed and Alphonse fall silent, probably glaring at each other with the tension Roy can feel in the air.

It’s strange—Roy feels something akin to restlessness humming under his skin, something that tastes like _anxiety_ and _fear_ , like _anticipation_ , but he cannot for the life of him pinpoint _why._ He’s just woken up from—

From—

He forces his eyes open, squinting up at the light above his bed. The ceiling is a blur that eventually coalesces into sharp definition as he blinks, and he lets out a deep sigh, shifting beneath the scratchy sheets. Something moves beside the bed, and suddenly there’s a hand, warm and soft, against his arm.

“Oh, thank fuck.”

“ _Brother._ ”

Roy turns his head so he can look at Ed, sitting poised on the edge of a chair beside the bed. His hair is a wild mess around his head, coming loose of its braid, and his eyes are tired as he looks Roy over from head to toe. When he catches Roy’s eyes again, he gives him a smile, just a small curl of his lip, and squeezes his arm reassuringly.

A wave of _relief_ rushes through him, nearly winding him with its intensity and making his chest feel buoyant. Memory is finding its way back to him, and Roy sees the crumbling building they’d chased the rogue alchemist into, the roof coming down around them—and the utter _terror_ in Ed’s eyes as Roy, dripping blood from his mouth and his head and his side and probably a few other places, lifted a hand and snapped, sending up a wall of flame that enveloped the rest and kept Ed from barrelling in after him.

So, yes. _Relief._ But something still feels—off.

Roy manages something like a smile back, exhausted as it must look. “I should have known you’d never listen to me, even to the end.”

A strangled laugh leaves Ed and his smile widens into a lopsided grin. _Hysteria,_ quickly smothered. “Well, this ain’t the end, so you can shut the fuck up.”

_Relief_ turns into a humming _contentment_ that settles in his bones, still tinged with a bit of _wariness_ —it’s almost foreign. Something warm blooms in his chest, too, but that feels more natural, and Roy resists the urge to bring his other hand up to rub at his sternum.

Alphonse, who has been watching them quietly, finally stands. He gives Roy an inscrutable look before offering a warm smile. “I’ll go get the nurse,” he offers softly, obviously just wanting to give them time alone, and Roy watches him go, noticing too how Ed pointedly doesn’t look at his brother.

Quiet settles between him and Ed, and he lets it hang only until Ed starts absently running his fingers along Roy’s arm. Roy’s own fingertips feel warm, tingling with phantom sensation. Something occurs to him then—feeling sensations that don't seem to come from him, phantom touches that coincide with Ed's movements—and suddenly what he’d heard Ed and Alphonse talking about makes a modicum of sense.

He breaks the silence. “I should be dead.”

Ed swallows thickly, not meeting his eyes. _Anxiety_ shoots through Roy again, mixed with _apprehension,_ but this time Roy knows it’s not his own. “Probably.”

“And yet,” Roy continues, gently, watching him carefully, “here I am.”

Ed looks down at his hand on Roy’s arm and agrees, “Here you are.”

More silence. Roy wants Ed to say it, wishes he’d be the one to bring it up, but Ed is nothing if not stubborn to a fault, especially about his own emotions. Oh, he’ll readily admit he has them, of course, but _feeling_ them? For _someone else?_ Nigh unheard of.

Roy sighs, suddenly very tired. “Ed—”

“I couldn’t let you die,” Ed says, quick like a stab. His brow furrows, eyes still on his own hand. _Frustration_ and _grief_ well up inside him. “I—I couldn’t. I can’t—” He lets out a sharp breath. _Defeat. Resignation._ “I can’t be without you. I can’t.”

He says it like it’s a fact of life: the sky is blue, equivalent exchange is the first law of alchemy, and Edward Elric cannot be without Roy Mustang.

Speaking of alchemy— “You bonded yourself to me.”

Ed presses his lips together and averts his gaze.

“You bonded your _soul_ to me,” Roy repeats, trying to catch those golden eyes. Ed doesn’t let him. Roy reaches for him with the arm not currently still in Ed’s own hand, cupping his cheek. It pulls at the bandages around his chest, the wound throbbing, but he pushes the pain away. He rubs his thumb gently over the dark circle under Ed’s eye. “Why would you do that?”

Ed looks at him sharply. “I _told_ you why. I can’t be without you. It’s—” He takes another breath, leans into Roy’s palm, and relents. “I knew what you were gonna do the moment that—that asshole started bringing the building down,” he says, jaw tightening. “You were gonna be all noble and selfless and sacrifice yourself to make sure everyone else was safe—to make sure _I_ was safe—and I just. I knew if you didn’t walk out of there alive, neither would I.

“So I—I went in and got your ass, and you were _dying,_ Roy, and—fuck, I didn’t know what else to do, okay? It just—I'd read the myths, you know, about soul bonds, and how it isn’t just sharing thoughts or feelings or whatever, but also life itself. And I figured—well, fuck, I figured if it didn’t save you, it’d kill me instead, and the end result would be the same. I’d be with you one way or the other.”

It takes Roy a moment to process it all, and he feels mildly faint. But also—warm, like curling up on the couch with a good book and a glass of whiskey in the evening, fireplace alight, and the weight of a lover against his side.

“What about Alphonse?” he finds himself asking, and Ed closes his eyes. He reaches his hand up to wrap it around Roy’s on his cheek, keeping it pressed close.

“Al’s a big boy.” Ed shrugs. “I’ve made my peace with him not needing me like he used to. It’d suck for a while, but he’d be fine.”

“Would he?”

Ed glares at him. His hand stays on Roy’s, though. “ _Yes,_ he would. He’d hate me for it, but he’d move on.” He pauses for a while, before adding, “He knows how I feel about you.”

_And how is that?_ Roy wants to ask, but doesn’t. It’d be redundant. The sky is blue, equivalent exchange is the first law of alchemy.

Edward Elric cannot be without Roy Mustang.

Roy’s read the myths about soul bonds, too. A taboo sort of alchemy, not unlike human transmutation. Instead of a soul in exchange for a soul, however, it’s half a soul for half a soul, tied together. They share thoughts—to an extent; nothing as cliché as mind-reading, but concepts, ideas, similar to intuition—feelings, life, death.

Roy was on the brink of death, and Ed gave enough of his life to keep him alive so he could get help. If Roy hadn’t wanted to hold on to his miserable existence so terribly, he’d have taken Ed with him.

A life for a life, but it’s not a trade—it’s a package deal. Both, or none.

The idea that Ed would have been gone from the world, whether Roy was in it as well or not, sends chills up his spine, makes his stomach curdle, bile creeping up his throat, and his hands shake.

_I can’t be without you,_ Ed had said, and Roy knows exactly what he means.

Instead of speaking, Roy just gently tugs Ed to him, and their lips meet in a soft kiss, feather-light and chaste. _Joy_ suffuses through the bond followed by _want_ and Roy thinks it’s both his own and Ed’s. Ed whines in his throat and wants to press forward, Roy can feel the tension in his limbs, but he holds back, refusing to hurt Roy more.

When they pull back, Ed leans his forehead against Roy’s and just breathes. “I thought I was gonna lose you,” he says quietly, just a murmur between them. “I was—shit, I was scared, Roy. Don’t _ever_ do that again.”

“No promises,” Roy says, but he does it with a smile that says _I’ll try._ If Ed’s life is in danger, he’ll do it again in a heartbeat, and Ed must know that, because he doesn’t call Roy out.

“Just get better, asshole,” Ed says fondly. He brings up Roy’s hand, the less damaged one, and presses his lips to it. “You’re no fun sitting in a hospital bed.”

“Well,” Roy says, and he settles back against the pillow, letting the warmth of Ed’s contentment fill his chest, “I certainly can’t deny a request like that.” 

**Author's Note:**

> im on tumblr @ geraltofriviasleftbuttcheek and twitter @troubadorer if u wanna hmu and talk abt alchemists or witchers and their bards


End file.
